Articles by Joel

You are currently browsing Joel’s articles.

What should I eat at work? Or, don’t tell ME what to eat at work!

October 7, 2011 by Joel | 2 comments

Those of you who know me, Joel, know that there’s only two things that I love, and that’s the 16th level of the NES classic Bubble Bobble and eating healthy food no matter the expense (as long as it’s cheap).

Now, the Gf-Gf likes to make food and take leftovers to work and eat that. That would be great, except I eat my share of dinner during y’know, dinner.

I was in the habit of consuming fast food for lunch as it was cheap and easy. I recently discovered that the cafe at my work (it’s VERY nice) has a series of meals every day that are called “Your Health Your Way” which they sell for just $3.15 and are different every day. It hasn’t been easy to abandon my love of tacos and cheeseburgers in exchange for healthy food and I must admit I’ve faltered a few times when I REALLY want a taco, so what, you wanna fight about it?

I was halfway through this when I decided that I would document it for posterity. Aren’t you glad? If not, too bad! Look at it again!

 

What that is apparently was a piece of fish. Cod of Sole or something. On top is a potato crusting and a bit of horseradish in the mix with roasted carrot and spicy slaw on the side. It was quite delicious.

 

This was another meal from the past week. Oven fried chicken breast (super moist and delicious), steamed broccoli and a cauliflower mash with gravy. I’d never had cauliflower mash but it was delicious! It appears to be cauliflower… mashed! What a paradigm shift, I need a minute to think about it.

So, my ramblings do not contain the eloquence or inherent beauty of structure of Jennie’s, but you know what? I trust that you will all promptly get over it.

There is a point to all this. It’s that despite shortness of time or money or imagination or patience you can still eat delicious food that is good for you if you look for it. It’s sometimes in the places you would least expect.

In closing I submit for your consideration, the following self-portrait:

Behold! The Cat To End All Cats©

July 26, 2011 by Joel | 1 comment

Come dear patrons, rest thine eyes upon the succulent juices of the cat who is called… Eggs.

Also, please take note of the box in which he rests. This fine container is not only suitable for withholding the majesty of cats, it also serves as a box which you place items to photograph, then purposefully direct light towards the tissue paper covered fistulas on the sides and top of said box. This light is then dispersed evenly inside the aforementioned box, blanketing whatever shall be contained in a soft evenly dispersed blanket of light. This contraption is called a Box With Which To Put Things In With Light Coming From Three Sides So They Look Good On Camera, or as I call it: Light Box©.

You may be wondering by now what god I’ve stolen this mystical device from. You may be picturing me climbing down from the peaks of Mt Olympus, muscly arms glistening with sweat and glory. In one hand I clasp the Light Box©, in the other a team of handicapped orphans saved from their impossibly terrifying fate in the jaws of the great and mighty Ares.

“NOT THIS TIME, ARES!” I scream into the thundering darkness, “you can go to Valhalla!”

But, dear readers, you’re dead wrong.

This box was crafted by the talented and beautiful Jennie, the GfGf herself! Marvel at it, I dare you!